Sei

Death is always a reminder to the living that life is short, temporary and unpredictable. You can't help but think when yours will end, when your loved ones' will. It's depressing, I know.  A relative passed away today. Two weeks ago, a distant cousin.  A few more people, as I've seen on friends' Facebook statuses.

I have terrible grief-management skills.  The first death I had to deal with was my nanny's death when I was around six, I think.  I just couldn't cry.  Perhaps I didn't fully comprehend the concept of death then. I felt sad, don't get me wrong. I just couldn't emote it outwardly.  Six years later, I lost my grandfather.  I loved him so much. "You're the best in the world," he would tell his grandchildren in his thick English accent.  Of course, there were more than one of us and we weren't experts on superlatives. Still, couldn't cope with the grief of loss. Years later, I found myself regretting for not properly managing my emotions.  I missed these people and it was too late. Anything felt years later feels irrelevant.  People have moved on.

Today's death kinda got to me.  You're never ready to lose your siblings.  From the moment you're born, these people have been in your life.  They may have been the bane of your existence sometimes, and the reason you're cheerful for the rest. I just hope mine keep safe enough. Can't imagine life without these clowns.